Banana Pinching and Prayer

This weekend I spent my time on my church's 'Student Weekend Away' or 'Church Camp' as I like to call it, because I'm super cool and it winds people up. We stayed at a place called Ashburnham, about a 15 minute drive from BATTLE STATION (it's just a train station really but I couldn't resist) and had a fun filled weekend full of teaching, laughs and lots of tasty food. As it was a Jesusy trip, we didn't do too much exploring, except for a lovely afternoon walk in the grounds, which consists of lots of beautiful woodland and a pretty church.

Some of the beauts I had the privilege of spending the weekend with.

Who'd have thought we'd find a church at a Christian retreat centre?! Clearly not Joe and Gordon...

Ashburnham is so removed the the madness of London and creates so much space for relaxing and soul-searching. Plus there was no signal and the WiFi didn't really work so we literally had no distractions from reality, which in itself was pretty liberating. It was everything I usually love about camping, with slightly more warmth (as we were inside) and properly cooked food (rather than my specialty of cold beans from a can). This also lead to us having to provide our own forms of entertainment that didn't involve the internet.

These consisted of but were not limited to...

• The most epic game of Chinese Snap that has ever been played. I kid you not, it was so epic that we all had to lie on the floor on our stomachs, shoulder to shoulder and lunge towards the pile of cards in the middle as they were at least an arms width away. And with all those people playing, guess what? I was STILL losing. *Not recommended for those with sharp finger nails or claustrophobia*

• Learning how to pinch a banana open. Sounds trivial but is actually one of my proudest achievements. Apparently it's how the monkey's do it AND you don't end up with a mushy end-of-banana. 

• And this, which for some reason was hilarious at the time. I think it might be a 'had to be there' moment but it'll make a few people giggle so I'll post it anyway.

Oh and I also learned that the key to making new friends is making an abundance of cookies and cakes to share.

Silliness aside, the weekend was a bit of a self discovery one for me. I mean, the past year and a bit has been that, but for some reason this weekend in particular really got some things straight for me. Whatever ever you believe - call it the Holy Spirit, call it simply gaining perspective - the overriding message on my heart the entire time was, 'no more hiding'. Which funnily enough ties into the Identity Thief series Josie and I have been writing recently. For me, the experiment taught me a lot about how I shouldn't be so obsessed with hiding my body from the world and this weekend I got to reflect on the aspects of myself, aside from my appearance, that I was insecure about or felt I should conceal.

Because really, why shouldn't your attitude to your personality be the same as to your body? You are who you are, warts and all, and no matter what people may lead you to believe nobody is all shiny and perfect. The only reason we are ashamed and compare ourselves to other people is because, like us, they are hiding all the stuff that makes them seem less perfect. There is no shame in being who you are, whether that be alcoholic, anorexic, believer, atheist, depressed, insecure and whatever else you can think of. Sometimes it can be really hard in today's 'liberal' society to be yourself, when there are so many expectations for everyone to be a certain way and act a certain way and dress a certain way. But why should we hide the negative aspects or those that others may deem negative, when it may be an inherent part of our being? Whether your secret makes who you are or hinders who you want to be, hiding it stops any use you may gain from it or help you may need to overcome it.

So I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't hide certain parts of my being any longer. And surprisingly, as soon as I opened up about things to people... absolutely nothing changed. Or at least not in the way I expected them to. Things that I had been terrified to admit because I assumed I would be looked down upon or treated like a crazy person for, were accepted and I felt an overwhelming peace and relief. It even seemed to have a kind of domino effect, in that because I'd opened up about things, others did too and I discovered that I am not so different to everyone else. 'It's not the emotions that you have, but the secrecy that will kill you', is a message that one of our student leaders felt that God had said to him, which holds so much truth because keeping something bottled up for so long causes you to create catastrophes in your head out of things that really aren't so bad.

Of course, you don't have to shout about your deepest darkest secrets to every Tom, Dick and Harry that will listen, but when you share things with those you trust, the hold they previously had on your soul just melts away. I realise I'm kinda reiterating the old, 'A problem shared is a problem halved' saying, but it really is true. I feel so much more free now I know I don't have to hide part of myself from those I love. For those who aren't so keen on the Bible, 'honesty is the best policy', or as it says in John 8:32, 'The truth will set you free'.

Assassination of Franz Ferdinand; 99th Anniversary

(Sorry for the multiple uploads today, the Wifi has been a bit shoddy recently!)

Our exploration of Sarajevo began with a visit the Latin Bridge and the sight where Franz and Sofia Ferdinand were assassinated, which was on the 28th June 1914. 99 years ago to the day. We didn't even plan it intentionally! I found it really strange to stand in pretty much the exact spot Gavrillo Princip stood as he took aim for the shot which would shake up the entire future of Europe. I wonder if he had even an inkling of what he was about to start.

Views walking down from the hostel. A perk of being up so high. (Instagram @josiepanda)

(Instagram @mitchellckc)

The old town is gorgeous, reminiscent of Istanbul according to Steve and Josie. We walked in as a call to prayer echoed through the cobbled streets and I was able to witness my first Muslim prayer ritual. Is it bad to find the customs of a religion that is relatively alien to me fascinating? I don't mean to patronise or condescend, as I have no idea what I believe in, I just think it's interesting to see different forms and places of worship. Religious studies has always been a particular passion of mine.

For lunch we had some traditional Bosnian Ćevapčhičhi, which was delicious and after just 3€ worth I was fit to burst.

We wandered down to the memorial for the 1992-1995 war, which is a beautiful fountain in a park just next to the main high street. There was also a list of children who had died during the war, which really hit home when I noticed that many were born the same year as me, but were deprived of their privilege of life before they'd even turned three. Looking around at the young Bosnians in the street I realised that many of them must have lived through the war; some may even remember it. It's so strange to consider something like that happening in my life time but at the same time, it still very much a reality for many citizens across Middle East and Africa. Children die needlessly in war because adults act like children. We forget the important things and protect our pride and greed and honour and whatever other stupid, unnecessary, selfish tendencies we possess, rather than those innocents who are crying out for peace.

We decided to head to a shisha bar to wind down after a hardcore day of sightseeing. It was SO CHEAP I could barely believe my ears when the waiter told us the equivalent of £2.50 for one! I don't even smoke but even I was tempted at that price.

The evening was spent in true traveller/hippy fashion, dreadlocking more of my hair (I'm now up to 13 dreads!), attempting to use henna and failing because being an idiot I cut the nozzle too thick. We managed to improvise though...

I also knitted some more headbands whilst the others span around in a hammock and massaged each other. Literally Emily hippy paradise.

We got the train to Mostar this morning - early get ups are much easier when you're drunk on culture and jelly sweets. Let's see where the day takes us.

#IDAHO

Since today is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia and it's an issue that sits very close to my heart, I thought I'd take the opportunity to write a little about it here. I know it's not really travel related but once again, it's my blog so tough cookies.

Homophobia is something, I have to say, I've never really understood. This is probably due to being brought up in one of the most complicated patchwork families I've ever known; mum and step-dad, dad and step-dad and then my two step-sister's mum and step-mum. Although I'd like to think I would be just as 'liberal' or 'accepting' whether or not I'd lived in the 'normal' family set up, I suppose I'm extra lucky in that I've never had to learn that everyone deserves equal rights and treatment, it's a concept that's simply ingrained in my being. It's common sense, an unarguable fact that just simply is. Why is any human worth any less than another because of who they love? The ability to love is a beautiful gift whether you believe it from God or simply a product of human evolution.

I was surprised when talking to a bi-sexual friend the other day when he said that it still wasn't the norm for everyone to know at least one homosexual person. I mean, I know loads, so I suppose I just figured everyone else did too. In a way, that explains a little about why it's still an issue for so many; humans tend to fear what they don't understand. For example I stayed with a rather conservative Peruvian family on my travels, the father of which worked for the government's conservative party. In Peru homosexuality is an EXTREMELY taboo subject - or at least that's the impression that I got - especially amongst the more conservative members of the population. Despite this, the homosexual uncle was treated like any other family member. His brother's wife took care of him, made him dinner each day (since he didn't have his own wife to care for him) and although the family didn't advocate his 'condition', they didn't shun him as would be expected in that society. Just goes to show how even strong cultural attitudes can be changed when the issue is made personal, even if it is not fully understood.

'Cuando el amor no es locura, no es amor.' (When love is not madness, it is not love.) - Pedro de la Barca

But what if really there isn't anything to understand? Love is love. It's crazy and wild and inexplicable. No one can help who they love, regardless of religion, colour, language, height, weight, age, eye colour, hair colour, bone structure, favourite food, music taste, shoe size... The list goes on. And all of these things affect the way a person behaves and their image. So why exactly is gender any different? That's not even a rhetorical question, if you think you can explain it to me, go ahead. Though I refuse to believe it's 'unnatural' in any sense of the word, how can love possibly be unnatural?

Furthermore, having a problem with another persons bedroom antics is just ridiculous. If you don't agree with someone else's sexual preferences or think it's disgusting, don't make it your business by talking about it. If it's a religious belief, I understand that gets a little more difficult. Biblical interpretation is tricky and causes all sorts of problems. However I am unsure how 'Love your neighbour as yourself' can be interpreted in any way other than to love everyone. Oh and if you're struggling on the definition of love, check out Corinthians 13:4-7:

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Sums it up pretty well don't you think?

Growing up I attended Catholic schools and although I'd identify as agnostic now, this upbringing taught me a lot about loving others so I get that some people believe homosexuality, or that act of it, is a sin. Maybe I just missed this lesson but where in the Bible does it then state that this gives people the right to wear 'God Hates Fags' t-shirts and claim they know that homosexuality condemns a person to hell? At what stage in life is any mortal granted the right to judge a person as if they were God? Quite simply, there isn't one. Unfortunately the negative stigma has been attached to Christianity through the actions of some of its more extreme factions and it is easy to forget that there are some incredible churches and Christians out there doing amazing work in the name of promoting equality and attempting to restore the name of Christianity to the religion of love and peace. Christianity should be about compassion and caring for those who are downtrodden or oppressed, as Jesus did, rather than causing the mistreatment. I think it's an outrage that people are having to become ashamed of their own religion because some of its members cannot see the injustice they are causing. Blind and unfounded hatred not only hurts the victims of prejudice but also those whose religion is associated with such atrocities.

What I'm trying to say is that above all else, should come love. I would hope that no matter what your beliefs or sexual orientation, that should not be forgotten. Homophobia and transphobia do not advocate any positive qualities for society. With so many other issues across the globe at the moment, there are more important things to concentrate ones time on other than fighting against another persons gender preferences which, I'm sorry, you're just never going to change. People are starving, sick and lonely, who cares if two men/women aren't going to procreate? The purpose of relationship isn't procreation but companionship. The two become a unit, a 'team' to fight through life together. Because who doesn't need a little support every now and then?

Unfortunately I've experienced first hand the negative influence a church can have on an individual struggling with the acceptance of their own sexuality. It's not pleasant, but four years on bisexual Em is exactly the same as closeted Em and not one person that matters has even given it a second thought. I'm glad that as a society we are slowly, but surely, moving towards the acceptance of the equality that everyone deserves, so that eventually even being a gay Christian might not be a completely bizarre concept.



Love is love is love. End of.