Being yourself: Officially a Dreadhead!

Another dread update! Last time I mentioned their progress I'd just brought the number up to 11 in Sarajevo. I now have a couuuuuple more than that.

I used the twist and rip method and despite the adverse advice, used elastic bands to secure the sections because my hair is just to smooth and straight to do it without. Will be taking them out within a week though! No product and I'm going to throw out my crochet hook because I've only heard bad things about them since I starting using it. I also have a few beads and fancy bits which I intend to start putting in soon. So yer, this is how they look right now:

Dread count: 36

I finally took the plunge and thought, 'Hashtag YOLO, let's just go the whole hog and hope I don't look too ridiculous'. I've wanted to dread my hair since forever (well early high school but that does seem like a life time ago) but to be honest I never really thought I'd pluck up the courage to do it. It's not that I've always tried to blend in, far from it, I've always liked to do my own thing. However, for some reason doing anything crazy with my hair has been something I have been worried about being judged on.

I worked out recently that this was mostly to do with the fear of not being considered 'attractive'; that because so many have people have warned me that I won't suit dreads or they look dirty or just plain awful, I started to think, 'Well maybe they're right. Maybe if I change my hair I'll all of a sudden turn into some hideous monster that no one will ever love ever again and I'll have to become some crazy-cat-lady-spinster who is forever alone.' When in actual fact, that is just THEIR opinion (the not liking dreads thing, not necessarily the crazy-cat-lady bit) which of course, they are fully entitled to. I, on the other hand, have always loved dreadlocks. If I see someone rocking dreads I will literally fall in love with them on sight (no exaggeration, ask my friends) and have always thought of it as a really beautiful and individual hairstyle.

Most of the above realisation came to me during a conversation with a friend whilst travelling, when discussing how society has conditioned us to think that looking a certain way is attractive, whilst everyone else becomes completely undesirable. It attempts to impress on us an ideal way to look and boxes us off into categories. Short skirts, long blonde hair, fake tan etc etc are a big yes, whilst dreadlocks, baggys jeans and facial piercings are a big no-no. Now I'm not suggesting that if you want to have the blonde and bronzed look there is anything at all wrong with it - I'm merely suggesting that if that's not how you want to look, don't just to it because society says you should. I know plenty of people who find their other half more attractive without make-up and dressed down anyway.

Too many times this year I've found myself wearing tighter and more revealing clothing than I'm comfortable in, simply because that's how you 'look nice'. Then I spend the whole evening feeling self conscious and either go home early, or get a stupid level of drunk so I don't have to think about what I look like. True, I'll get a lot more attention dressing that way than I do dressing the way I prefer, but it is attention I've never enjoyed. It's nice to be called pretty, but when it's accompanied by a slap on the ass (swiftly followed by a return whack in the face from yours truly) it completely loses any complimentary value. Being treated like a piece of meat just makes me feel cheap.

I finally made the decision to progress from my 11 hidden dreads to a full set due to meeting a guy in a hostel in Zagreb, who was just as infatuated with the hairstyle as me. I'd never met someone else who has as much love for dreads as I do, whose first question wasn't, 'Have you thought about how you're going to take them out?', but rather, 'They look incredible, when are you going to do the rest?!'. I know it sounds silly, but that was literally all it took and my mind was set. I think far too often people are scared to do what they want to do with their lives because they feel like they'll be the only one to think that their choices are the right ones. That they'll be alone in their decisions and it'll be difficult to find any support. But if I've learned anything from that accidental meeting, it's that sometimes you'll find people you can really relate to completely by chance, in the strangest places and at the most unexpected times. And really, if the decision is right for you, who cares what anybody else thinks? Also it turns out that after all my worrying, aside from a few exceptions, almost all of my friends and family admitted they actually quite like the do, or can at least tolerate it.

(Instagram @gracelund1)

Aimee and Pete actually HELPED to finish off the last couple.

I know it might seem a bit odd getting all deep about a hairstyle, but for me it's more about what it represents. It's a lifestyle choice that allows me to express myself, despite the stigma which can come with it and I'm just really pleased that with a little encouragement, I've finally been able to carry it out. In today's society I don't think there's enough emphasis on the importance of being yourself, so I hope I can at least do my little bit to spread word that it's OK just to be you. Judging people is for losers, so who cares what anybody else thinks?

This post is inspired both by my new dreads and the above video my Jenna Marbles, who I think is an absolute babe. It's an inspiring video for me, so I thought I'd share it with you all :)

The Journey Begins

This year has been both simultaneously the most exciting and challenging year of my life due to many reasons: starting uni, meeting so many incredible people, leaving old friends behind, learning about myself and becoming more independent are just a few. However January to March were without a doubt the worst three months that I have ever had to survive. I was very ill and had to miss a lot of uni because of this and because of the struggle to get better, I lost myself a little too. You may remember my post Refinding My Muchness, which I actually wrote at one of my lowest points as an attempt to keep hold of the little bits of myself I still had left. I wrote about how travel is my 'muchness' it helps me to discover and express myself. However due to illness, I haven't been able to travel since November, which for me feels like a life time! I have just under three weeks left until I am finally let loose upon the world again, but since my final exam was on Friday, I figured why wait that long to let the adventure begin?

The past couple of weeks I have been on a journey of rediscovery. My friends have mocked me a little since in the past year I've tried to 'refind' myself repeatedly, though to little avail. However this is the first time I've started to feel a real difference in myself. My happy-go-lucky outlook is creeping back in and I'm moving away from my newly developed self-consciousness, towards my old 'it's my life and I'll do what makes me happy and I don't care what you think' approach, which I have sorely missed. So to celebrate the return of the old Em with a few new updates (I couldn't not learn from the past year's experiences) I have decided to rock a new hairstyle which I have been dying to try for many years now... Dreadlocks!

Josie helping me dreadlock!

Bless this girl's patience of a saint AND her epic dreadlocking skills. Who'd have thought it?!

My first two dreads! Repping the Snapchat ;)

I made the decision to start them yesterday as I went on a bit of a youtube binge watching various videos about how to dreadlock and why people dreadlock their hair. I also read a lot of articles on dreadlocksite about the reasons behind dreadlocking. It seems that for most people, dreadlocks are a kind of journey, whether it be of self-discovery or spiritual or otherwise. Since I have spent most of my last year constantly worrying about what others around me think about my appearance, my mannerisms and generally just trying to act to please others and no matter how hard I tried, I was finding these habits hard to kick, I decided that I would finally do something for myself, despite the criticism I may face. Also I kind of like the idea of the journey, though I'm not exactly sure what that means just yet... I'm sure I'll find out in due course.

This video inspired me because of the look, I think her hair is just incredible. Oh and she's danish, which only adds to her awesomeness.



Also this one, for the reasons behind it.



I currently only have three as a kind of experiment, to see how they mature and to practice maintenance before I go the whole hog. After extensive research I decided to use the 'twist and rip' method, which is no where near as painful as it sounds, as it allows me to keep most of my length and since I'm a little OCD, I wasn't feeling brave enough to go au naturale. The only downside to this method is that it takes a bloody lifetime to do, around four hours to do three, though my hair is rather long and it took a little while to get the hang of. I got the overwhelming impression NOT TO USE PRODUCTS such as wax etc, apparently they're extremely unnecessary and just bad for your hair. I also bought the Lush solid shampoo bar 'Seanick' after reading multiple recommendations for it. So if you're worrying about becoming stinky, don't fear! My dreads are going to be squeaky clean :D And that's just about it... I'll keep you updated on their progress as I travel, as for me I already feel they're gonna be a significant part of the adventure.

Oh and I finally reached my 7,000th blog view today! Feels like a positive sign. Thanks so much for reading and supporting my efforts :)