My Year Abroad

As exam time is coming to a close and all my friends start to trickle home from their various year abroad destinations, I figured it was about time I write something about my experiences.

It’s been a mad one, in short. I've already written a fair amount about my time in Mexico, about the violent love of my friends accompanied by bullets fired from police weapons and wealth of culture juxtaposed with the poverty of compassion from the hearts of those who hold the power. I learned about unyielding strength in times of hardship and laughter in the face of pessimism. Although I was unwell for a large amount of my stay, there is not one ounce of me that regrets going. My heart was broken in more ways than one, sleepless nights were abundant and tears shed uncountable, but oh lord, I am so much stronger for it. It was chaotic and challenging and magical in all the right ways.

Berlin, however, was short and not-so-sweet. Perhaps it was because I finally had a minute to breathe after all the crazy. Perhaps it was boredom. I really can’t decide. I started off well-ish, attending all my classes which was a habit I had lost after being removed from studies UNAM. I'm not sure if I was unwilling, or just simply unable to connect with others, so I’ll settle for somewhere in the middle. I spent most of my time reflecting on and processing what had happened to me, muddling my words when talking to new faces and feeling genuinely disconnected from most conversations. I suppose my life was just in a very uncertain place.

Funky Berlin street art

The culture shock was overwhelming. It’s like what people have often said to me about moving to London, that the shock isn't moving to the city, but moving back to your small, quiet town. I was in a similar sort of situation. I did a bit of exploring but felt so bewildered by the change in scenery to enjoy it much. I kept on confusing my German with my Spanish, my Spanish with my English. My accent in German was just weird and I had forgotten even the most simple sentence structures. The sheer waste of consumerism and pettiness of daily worries regularly brought me close to tears, and I longed to be anywhere else. Not to mention, people in Berlin are just plain rude.

The Backhaus TEAM

I can’t say it was all bad. Over time I started to adjust a little more, and though I never braved Berlin’s (in)famous night life, I did manage to enjoy some other Berlin-esk fun. My house mates were great and we had a day out urban exploring in an old spy base which has now been converted into an arts space. I also LOVE Mauerpark, with its live music, live haircuts and live, well, “music” with Bear Pit karaoke where tourists gather every Sunday to embarrass themselves. The visits I had from two of my favourites from Mexico and my family were absolutely fab as well, and my friends from KCL really did pull me through. Plus the food is cheap and the beer is cheaper, and you always feel safe walking alone at night. I was simply in the wrong frame of mind to enjoy it like I could have done.

My future Mexican hubby and I (we're marrying for visa purposes) losing our Pride virginity together.

Live music at Mauerpark

I’d like to go back sometime and do it again, but for me I think Berlin will always be a better holiday destination than home. I did get into Yoga while I was out there, which is one silver lining, and I stayed long enough to hopefully achieve enough credits to avoid any resits in my final year. Plus my new bestie lives out there too (if she ever returns from Mexico), so it’d be hard to avoid it forever.

We'd got a load of money out to pay some bills and felt rich for about five minutes, so we made it rain money but then lost loads and had to crawl around on the floor to find it...

I suppose Berlin taught me that sometimes, it’s OK to stop. You can push yourself too hard and your mind needs time to process things that happen to you. With hindsight, I probably wasn't well enough to go away at all, but in no way to a regret my decision to do so. It’s just made me realise that although moving to a new country may seem like a fun adventure, and in most respects it is, it’s also important never to forget the pressure it can have on your mental well-being. You can take things too quickly and everyone needs time to adjust.

I think the older I get, the more I realise the value of time at home, in familiarity and in those who have known you for years. It’s a place where you don’t have to be ‘on’ all the time, where you can relax and just be yourself without having to worry about making new friends or impressing anybody. In my mind I now have three ‘homes’: Preston, London and Mexico City, though Preston will always be closest to my heart. It’s funny how going away for thirteen months can make you realise the value of staying put. Roll on a summer filled with old friends, Oxfam and English food. I think I've just about earned it.

White Party and THE VIDEO

Initially, my goodbye party was supposed to be on the roof of my house and we were going to keep it low-key and low-budget. Unfortunately, my pinche landlords had a different idea and in spite of the fact that we gave them three weeks notice about the party, they cancelled just five days before.

Luckily our new plan turned out to be even better. A friend of mine suggested that we rent an island in Xochimilico for the night, where we could camp and drink and make as much noise as we liked without the concern of neighbours or trashing someone's house. Image Mexican Venice in the countryside, without the glam and romance, but rather an entirely different kind of beauty.

My friend Geovanni's cousin works on the boats that take you to these islands, which are more like long floating rafts which you row with a big stick, so she took us there at not too much expense. We all dressed in white (embarrassingly inspired by the white party in Gossip Girl) and popped champagne as we went, all looking very classy and sophisticated for at least the first ten minutes. We also managed to get some really beautiful picture before everyone got too messy.

As you can see the most part consisted of alcohol, glitter fights, face paint and kinda looking like we were at a hippy wedding. But it was beautiful and fun, until later when the usual drama started but we'll just forget about that part.

And now the moment you've ALL been waiting for... my highlights video from Mexico and that trip to the States I took almost a year ago. I hope you enjoy it and if you do, let me know, so I can make more of my future trips. (I mean I'm gonna do it anyway, I just won't share them with you...)

Goodbye for now, Mexico

“I like messy people; people who don’t fit in a box or stay between the lines, but who’s integrity is greater than any rule book and who’s loyalty is stronger than blood.” Jim Wern In April 2014, I made a last minute and rather impulsive decision to give my study abroad year a go. I'd just taken my self off medication (not sensible kids, always speak to your doctor first!) and I was feeling great, so I thought 'fuck it, why not?'. 

I thought I knew exactly what to expect. In first year I lived with loads of exchange students, and I'd witnessed lots of partying, travelling and general debauchery. All the cliché language barriers and culture jokes came up on a regular basis, there was a lot of gossip, tears, laughter and the like. Basically, I'd been given the impression of the typical L'auberge Espagnole year abroad and that all seemed rather appealing to me; a well-earned break from the ongoing stress of the last few years of my life.

I didn't know how wrong I could be. Instead I ended up taking part in a failed uprising, being shot at by police, hitch-hiking through the jungle, living without water, crawling through caves, hiding an illegal immigrant, crying my way through the Guatemalan border control, dropping out of uni due to students being shot on campus, rekindling old friendships and making new ones, meeting a best friend who I love unconditionally (even if she does like to turn people into soap) and falling in love with a bunch of salvajes whilst hiding from my accidental drug-dealer boyfriend in Chiapas, who ended up becoming an unshakeable part of my life in DF (the salvajes, not the accidental boyfriend). And all this on top of the usual language struggles, homesickness and other difficulties that come with being the foreign kid in a new country and kind of sucking at the language.
Ignoring the slight blip at Christmas where I was forced to go home, my stay in Mexico totalled just over 10 months. It'd be a lie to say I loved every minute of it because sometimes it was downright painful (running for our lives, the love triangles, bailing people out of jail...), but I can't say I regret a single second. Not surprisingly, I've learned heaps about myself, not to mention an entirely new culture and way of life. Oh, and I kind of speak Spanish now too, which I suppose was the idea of this all along.

#MOMENTOCHEESY

I don't know how to thank everyone I met enough for the incredible time I've had. I know the bonds we've made are so much stronger that the distance between us (ew did I really just write that? Too many Mexican feelings) and I know we've got many more exciting times ahead. I'll miss la pobreza, chilaquiles and living my life vicariously through Blair Waldorf more than you can imagine. Ahora son todos un parte de mi corazón y sería imposible olvidar como cambió mi vida con ustedes. Los quiero CHINGOS y los veo para mitzear pronto (Franzi y Anthony sólo dos meses!!) I really have found a new home.

**Video coming soon!**

End of the Haitus

It's been exactly four months since I felt I could actually write something on here. It's been a crazy time if I'm honest, and I have good reason for really not knowing how to share my experiences. On top of the uncertainty also came the problem of safety, because although I'm not some big shot blogger with a million followers, some of the things that happened to me, my friends and those around me proved that speaking out can get you into a lot of trouble with the wrong kinds of people.

The last trip I wrote about on here was one I took to Puerto Rico (and Martinique, which I am yet to write about) which happened pretty much exactly when the trouble started here in Mexico. I don't want to write too much about the beginnings of it all now (because it would simply take too long to explain), but here is a post I wrote closer to the time to give you a little more background information:

Ya Me Cansé - An Insight into Mexico's 43

Unfortunately, just two weeks after I submitted this article, I had to leave the country due to the events that had taken place on my university campus. It was an incredibly painful experience for me, having to say goodbye on such short notice to a group of people I had grown to love so much, not knowing when I'd be able to return or if they'd ever be able to come and visit me. I also felt so helpless, having experienced first had in the marches just what the state was/is capable of doing to innocent and peaceful protesters, and entirely unsure of what I'd be able to do from so far away.

I wanted to share some of my photos from the peaceful protests that took place over the time I was here, just to give a little insight into the reality of the situation that the Mexican people were facing. The movement was powerful and strong, but above all it was peaceful, yet that doesn't seem to make the government listen, nor does it stop violent actions against innocent people.

About 10 minutes after the last picture, just before the second wave of running as the police stormed the main square. Gun shots, explosions and people panicking like crazy. We continued running for 10-15 minutes more after this (time gets a bit blurred in my head, it was all a bit surreal).

This is how the state reacts to a peaceful movement.

It's quite a weird experience for me now, writing about all this retrospectively. It was all so real at the time, so intense and emotional and yet for some reason, all that has died down so much since December. I was convinced that I wouldn't be able to come back after Christmas, but now here I am, having lived another two months in the country with hardly a word from the uprising that seemed to be upon us just months ago. It's now a running joke that the revolution took Christmas holidays and didn't really revive itself afterwards. I've heard of marches and meetings around university since I came back, but the spirit hardly seems as strong as before I left. Maybe I'm wrong or just a little out of the loop now, but it already feels like everything we went through is now just part of history, stories to tell and not much more. 

I can say however, that so far I have got so much more than I bargained for from what was supposed to be a chilled out year abroad. Experiencing injustice firsthand is something that us white, privileged westerners are fortunate enough to be able to avoid, sometimes for our entire lives, making it a lot easier to turn a blind eye from problems in the world will never really affect us. I have to admit that over the past few years I lost a lot of my 'change the world' spirit, due to growing up and illness and the numbness of the world, thinking that there is SO much bad, that my wanting to be good would never really make a difference. But what happened here really brought that back in me, and it's back with a vengeance. I am yet to figure out just what that means for my future, what am I going to do or who I am going to be, but I do know that I can no longer continue to sit back and just watch.

Sorry for the disturbances. We are changing the country - WORLD.

Mexican Independence, English Teaching and the Caribbean

It's midday and I just caught myself sat on my bed, only half dressed - despite being up for several hours - and eating nutella straight out of the jar with my fingers, so I decided it's probably about time I do something productive with my day. My productive activity of choice just happens to be writing this, because although this is kiiiind of a form of procrastination from my actual work, I like to view it as constructive procrastination... in that one day Lonely Planet will see my blog and give me my dream job and I will no longer have care about translating satirical newspaper articles about political correctness into Spanish. A girl can dream, eh?

Anyway, the last couple of weeks have been rather crazy here. Two weeks ago we had Mexican Independence day, with more parties to attend and more alcohol to consume than humanly possible. Despite the official date of Independence Day being 16^th September, it would appear that just one day of merriment is nowhere near enough for Mexicans, with festivities spanning pretty much the entire week. Too hungover to attend any of the official celebrations (oopsy), I just attended parties of various friends throughout the extended weekend, salsa-ing my heart out as per usual and taking full advantage of the free booze.

Party number two of three for Independence Day. Edgar (in the big hat) has never looked so Mexican.

However, my favourite part about the whole weekend was seeing just how proud Mexicans are, simply of being Mexican. National pride is a relatively alien concept to me, as us Brits tend to be disliked on a pretty international scale for so many things. So the idea of having a day to celebrate how awesome it is just to be British would be completely ridiculous. It'd be like that year that we entered that awful patriotic song in the Eurovision Song Contest with the Union Jack plastered all over the stage and then were given 'nil point' by literally every single country. Also I'm very aware we never had to gain independence and we were the ones running around conquering everyone like we owned the bloody planet... so not cool.

As it was such a mad weekend, I decided to take some time off from any liver-destroying and bank-draining antics and focus on school work and the like...




Don't laugh, I'm being serious.

As well as attempting to start working hard, Franzi and I had the genius idea of advertising ourselves as language teachers for German and English, as we really want to get some travelling done after this term ends and as it stands we might not be able to have the cash to do that.

So we postered like crazy all over campus (no rules against that here, it's awesome), only realising after we'd finished that Franzi had actually provided her name, facebook and phone number to four entire faculties. I swear to God if you put our brains together, maybe we'd just about make one logical person. Or all the stupid stuff would form together and we'd never actually get anywhere in life. Who knows?

But despite this minor setback, it worked! For the first time in my life I'm self-employed (how fancy does that sound?) and so far it's turning out to be really successful. As much as I love hanging out with my friends and meeting people at parties, it actually feels really good to now be doing something productive with my free time. As fun and carefree as student life can be, it's sometimes really positive to have some structure to your days, especially when you only have a three day timetable like I do. It can become dangerously tempting to waste all of your time off on tumblr or catching up on the latest gossip (guilty!) rather than using your time to benefit yourself or the lives of other people around you, and personally, I've found that the more productive you try to be, the easier it becomes. I think I've wrote this before, but life really is about getting the balance between structure and free time just right.

I've also just realised that all this must sound rather amusing after the way this post started off. I promise, I have already left the house and taught two classes today after a rather difficult weekend, so I was just having a bit of me time with my one and only true love i.e. food, before getting back to actually making something of my day. Like I said, balance is important, and for me that balance includes a bit of self-care in the form of an entire jar of Nutella. That OK with you?

The last two weeks also saw the departure of my gorgeous friend Shelly back to Taiwan after her two month trip out here. I met Shelly along with the rest of the London exchange crew back in my first year of university when I was living in those really international student halls. I feel like she fell in love with Mexico just as much as I am doing, and I'm just so glad I got to see her again after such a long time.

At a Cuban salsa club in La Roma, showing the boys how it's done.

Aside from a lot of hanging out at uni a lot, accidentally attending the wrong class for SEVEN weeks (because I'm a super genius) and an accidental party that trashed my bedroom, I haven't got much else to report. I really do want to start doing some more cultural things in the city soon, because I am really settled in now and there is so much to do here. We were actually planning a trip to Puebla last week, a nearby city that is supposed to be stunning, but unfortunately those plans fell through for various reasons. Fingers crossed we'll be able to get organising it for another time though.

After our weekly Wednesday afternoon lunch in Arquitectura. I'm happy because I'm full of chilaquiles (and I suppose the company was alright too)

However, despite our failed Mexican travel plans, in three days time I'll be jetting of to Martinique, to visit my lovely friend Imogen who I study German with at King's. The lucky so and so is studying abroad in the French Caribbean for the first part of her year away, so I'm off to soak up some rays and climb a volcano, and you know, make sure she's doing alright out there. And the trip actually couldn't have come at a better time, as I've recently really been missing home and familiar faces, so it'll be nice to be able to word vomit at someone in the worst English accent ever, without worrying about being misunderstood. Not that I'm not having the time of my life out here, but sometimes things happen when you are away from home and you just need to be back in a familiar setting for a little while. I'm just lucky enough for that familiarish setting to be incredibly near a beach. I also have a day's layover in Puerto Rico on the way, a place I haven't visited since I was about 10 years old, so it'll be interesting to see if I actually remember any of it.

22 Reasons I Have Fallen in Love with Mexico

Happy Birthday to meeeee (only five days late, this week has been a mad one!) I can't believe it's already come around again, seems like only yesterday that I was writing 21 Reasons to Love Being Alive and dressing up as Alice in Wonderland like the big kid I am. And now I'm on the other side of the world in Mexico, celebrating my first birthday abroad, which has been filled with extraordinary amounts of cerveza, drunk tacos, incredible friends and merriment, as well as a failed attempt at making skittles vodka (please don't try that at home kids... not without a recipe at least).

In other news, my laptop has FINALLY arrived so that means more blogging! YAY!

*tumble weed*

Well, at least I'm excited. I've challenged myself to try and start writing twice a week now rather than just once, because really, how often does one get to live in Mexico on government funds, with barely a care in the world and only three days of actual responsibility? Plus I have sooooo much to catch you all up on. I mean I still can't believe I haven't written anything about San Cristobal or living here in DF (that's Mexico City, FYI). However after such a lovely lovely lovely birthday week, I'm feeling all the Mexican love and it seems only right to dedicate my birthday post to the country and the people who made it so great. Then I'll get round to more travel things, I promise :D

So here it goes, 22 reasons I have fallen in love with the amazing country that is Mexico...

1. It's one of the most beautiful countries I've ever visited, with an incredibly diverse landscape.

2. Tacos are the best drunk/hangover food ever.

3. It's literally impossible to get bored.

The landscape, the history, the culture, the food, the people... combine it all and there is honestly never a dull moment. By the time I leave Mexico I will have been here nearly a year and there is no way I'll have experienced there is to experience, eaten everything there is to eat or visited everywhere there is to visit. Which, on the plus side, gives me another excuse to come back (not that I'm actually lacking in those).

4. The weather (I'm English, of COURSE that's important).

Los Mochis, all of the heat, EW.

After 2 weeks of intense sunshine, I nearly cried of joy when it rained in Guadalajara.

I've endured highs of 40 degrees and torrential downpours. Of course I'm usually happier in the rain, but as I'm always game for trying something new, it's been really cool to experience the extremes in weather that I would never be able to at home. Even if that does mean that my shoulders now look a different race to the rest of my body, and that due to the rainy season, I nearly drown on my way back from class everyday. 

5. All of the swimming.

Swimming in Hierve el Agua, in a natural infinity pool on the edge of a cliff in the mountains. Say WHAAAAT.

6. The questionable levels of health and safety, making everything just that little bit more exciting.

The first line of the sign reads, 'Use the door', which considering the side of the wall was covered in large, rusty nails AND we'd been drinking all day, would have been sensible. But then again it was locked, so I mean, we didn't have a choice... right?

7. There are over 60 recognised languages spoken here. So much language geeking.

8. They love the gays almost as much as I do.

This was taken at Guadalajara Pride. I'm very aware that the level of homophobia varies from state to state and generation to generation, but here in Mexico City I've met nothing but positivity and love for diversity. There are even adverts on the underground for equal rights for the LGBT community and posters supporting transgender people. It's incredible and to be honest we could learn a thing or two from this back home.

9. No matter what the weather, there is never a grey day.

10. The warmness of the people.

I'm a very tactile and huggy sort of person, so it's wonderful to come to a country where this is completely the norm. I love that I greet my friends with a kiss whenever I see them and holding hands with someone isn't automatically misconstrued as something more than just friendly touch. Maybe is because it's one of my 'love languages' or maybe it's because the people back home are just a lot less open to platonic physical closeness, but this is one of the elements of this country that I will miss the most when I leave.

11. But seriously though, the food.

Empanadas and chilaquiles and sopes and posole and tacos and beans and quesadillas and enfrijoles and that weird cheese from Oaxaca and MOLE ROJO and all the pollo and homemade guacamole and gorditas and enchiladas and pastor and just all the food love.

12. Happiness isn't determined by your bank balance, but what you do with what you have.

This is the class that Adriana teaches in one of the rural communities in the hills around San Cris. The areas and villages that these children and their families come from are far from the wealthiest, and yet they were some of the happiest and smilyest people I've met. I could give countless examples, but out here, it's the simple things that make people happy, and despite the many elements of development that still need to take place within society, I've met very few Mexicans who aren't happy with what they've got or don't know how to make the most out of a difficult situation.

13. The rich and diverse culture.

I'm a little ashamed to say I knew next to nothing about Mexican culture or history before I came here, aside from the fact that everyone owns a sombrero and speaks like Speedy Gonzalez. But there is an impossible amount to experience here, from the familiar capitalist culture of the big cities (of course with a Mexican twist) to indigenous communities that are scattered throughout the entire country, which all have their own traditions and languages and ways of life.

14. Chiapas, or more specifically, San Cris, completely stole my heart.

It's now a running joke that all my stories and all the people I have met here come from San Cris, because I spent so much time there and just can't seem to stop going on about it. I will be writing about it soon, but until then just know that it is a must visit. So add it to your bucket list and if you're ever in the town, stop by Casa Caracol and give my best to Juan.

15. Waterfalls.

16. 'Mañana, mañana' and 'horita'.

Stress? Worry? Rush? I think I've forgotten the meaning of the words. The above roughly translates to, 'There's always tomorrow' and, 'I'll do that/be there in a little while, but really what I mean is somewhere between 10 minutes and 2 days. Your guess is as good as mine to be honest.'

17. Meal times are for more than just eating.

Although I'm still finding it difficult to get used to the HUGE breakfast thing they've got going on here, I love how meal times are used as a social time with family and friends. The culture of wolf-it-down-as-quick-as-humanly-possible just simply doesn't exist. Where as back home, social food consuming time is usually reserved for special occasions and the like, here every meal is a sit down, hang out, phones away ordeal and can last hours with no-one itching to rush off or find something better to do.

18. A cawama (about 1 litre of beer) costs £1. ONE ENGLISH POUND. My liver hates me.

19. Riding in the back of pick-up trucks.

...on roads with 100ft drops on either side, with no seat belts. Ok that was just once, but everyother time I've done it it's be entirely invigorating, especially after a day of hitch-hiking in the scorching heat.

20. Mexicans are literally the most welcoming people in the world.

I have never visited another country and felt so immediately at home and welcome. I can't count the amount of people that have told me, 'Our doors our open whenever you want', 'If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask' and, 'You're always welcome here'. In the above picture my friend Shelly is adding to a wall in a hostel I lived in for some time, which simply states 'My house is your house' in lots of different languages, painted on by the people who have stayed there.

21. The incredible people I have met/had the opportunity to revisit.

I could compliment you all until the cows come home, but really I just want to say thank-you for everything and I'm so glad that the adventure is far from over.

22. I have learned so much about myself.

Looking back over the last three and a half months, it's crazy to think that for one reason or another, I nearly didn't do my year abroad. I mean everything was pretty much planned out; I was to go straight to fourth year, I'd picked out all my modules, I knew where I was going to live and life seemed stable and good and safe. And now, I suppose due to my 'fuck it, let's just go for it' attitude, I'm now here. Like I actually LIVE in Mexico. I have done and seen so so much and have met some of the most beautiful people to have ever existed, and the best part is, it's only just beginning. University only started a month ago, and when I think back over everything I've done since arriving in Mexico, it seems unreal.

I feel so incredibly lucky to have been give this opportunity and without sounding too big-headed, am so unbelievably proud of myself for taking it. Travel is about so much more than just looking at some pretty views and getting shit-faced at party hostels (though both of those can be great fun), it's about discovering more of what the world has to offer and in turn, uncovering parts of yourself that you had no idea existed. Every time I travel and meet new people, I can feel myself not only become more knowledgeable and worldly, but also a much stronger and well-rounded person. The more I see, the more I want to see and Mexico has been one of the countries that has driven my thirst for life to a whole new level.